Removing the mask.
I will be honest. I’ve been struggling. Struggling emotionally, spiritually, mentally. If you ask me “what’s wrong” I don’t know that I could actually say what is wrong, I would likely fumble for words and not be able to get my point across. Why? Because I don’t really even know.
As I’ve been seeking the Lord in what to write this week, I almost didn’t post, didn’t share, just shared a friends blog post. But I was reminded, this is an adventure, an adventure with God. Sometimes there are bumps in the road, am I going to be “another one” who only shares the good, the smiles, the positive, or am I going to be real with you? I want to be real with you.
I do however feel like this blog post will be incomplete.
Why?
Because I am not finished. There is something changing, moving, shifting inside me, God is growing, stretching, and shaping me, molding me into who He has created me to be. This is only the beginning, there will be more, there will be more depth. For now, I will share the process. I battled in my mind whether to share the process or just share some scripture and a short devotion. Something that I’ve struggled with is that everyone seems to “have it all together” and never struggle. If they do they do it beautifully with flower pictured scriptures and that’s it. I want you to know, I struggle. I am not perfect. I am not finished. You are not alone. Take comfort in that, you are not alone.
My Bible school class this semester is on the Poetic Books. One of those books is Job. Job has always been a book of the Bible that I know about, know Job, but never really wanted to read because when people talk about Job they always talk about all the bad things that happened to him and how he was a “patient sufferer” or something like that. It always made me think “good for him, but I don’t know if I could do that”. However, after reading through my Bible class book and studying this I realized (as I should have known) there is so much more! I’m finding I want to really dig in to this book and find all that God has for me in this and I want to share that with you.
One thing I’ve really enjoyed finding out while studying the book of Job is that yes, Job suffered. Yes, Job was patient and blameless and upright and all those wonderful words we use to describe Job and look to this book when things get tough. But he also asked why. He didn’t sit there with a smile on his face saying oh how wonderful all this suffering is… Nope. He sat silent for seven days (2:13) and cursed the day he was born (Ch. 3). In the notes for chapter 3 in my bible it says “It is always best for believers to express their doubts and their honest emotions to God in prayer. It is never wrong to go to God with our misery and heartache in order to receive his compassion and to understand His plans. It also says “In His greatest moment of suffering, Jesus Christ himself asked His Father the question My God My God why have you forsaken me?” This reminds me of something I realized awhile back. We have to be honest with God and with ourselves. That may sound silly or very simple to you but for me that was pretty big. Sometimes we put on a “mask” for people around us, if I’m being honest, I know I do. We have to be careful that the “mask” we put on for others doesn’t stay on when it comes to our relationship with God.
This is why I’ve titled this post “Removing the mask”. I want to not only remove the mask in my relationship with God but I want ot remove that mask with others as well. It’s okay to let people know you’re struggling. There is freedom when you talk about it. Don’t let the enemy talk you into staying quiet.
Job 3:25 says “What I feared as come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me.” My notes in the Bible say Job’s fear was not that he would lose all of his material benefits and wealth; those were not most important to him. Job’s greatest desire was for the presence and favor of God to be on him and his family. Now the thing he dreaded most had happened. God seemed to have forsaken him, and he had no idea why.” Now this is the part I want you to really see: “Still Job did not curse God, but continued to pray for mercy and relief.” I teach the kids in children’s church that prayer is like a conversation, we can come to the Lord and talk to Him like we do anyone else, I want them to feel that freedom to talk to Him. Job continued to pray and talk with the Lord, do we? Do we get so distracted by our circumstances and start to put up walls, walls around our relationships and walls between us and God?
There are so many thoughts here and I could “rabbit trail” all over the place. But for now I want to bring my mind back to one scripture that has spoken to me a lot the past few weeks. (I recommend reading 2 Peter 1:3-11.)
“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knoledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.” 2 Peter 1:3
The note in my bible below that scripture says “No additional human wisdom, no technique or theory is needed to supplement or complete the message of God’s Word that reveals His perfect plan of salvation through Jesus Christ.”
I struggle when I feel that something isn’t right or I get into a “mood” or am just struggling period, I will get “busy”. I will start looking for books, blogs, posts, quotes, notes, people, conversations, messages, etc that speak to my situation and will “help me”. While all of those things are wonderful tools, in no way am I speaking negatively toward them, they should not be our only source OR our first thought. God is our Source, He has given us all we need in His Word. His Word is complete.
Job listened to his friends, they all had something to say about his situation, he prayed to God and asked all the “why’s” and complained and looked for answers. When all along God was there. When God responded He didn’t even address Jobs questions. They just moved on. Nothing, no one, can offer anything compared to what God has already given you and me in the Bible. Why would we look anywhere else? When I’m struggling, when I need direction, when my thoughts are scrambled, I need to go to my Source. Him. His Word.
Find your identity in Him.
Walk WITH Him.
Again, there is so much more that I want to say. So much more that the Lord is speaking. But for now I will leave you with this.
Know who you are.
You are a child of God.
You are Chosen.
You matter.
You are dearly loved.
Know your worth. Find your worth in Him. Make time for your Creator. Choose your First Love. Cultivate your relationship with Him. Because He is your Source, He is all you need.
