“The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14
I was talking to a friend recently and was telling her about how I think some people perceive my life or time commitments and restraints etc. I tend to be quite busy but assume that people think “oh she has all the time in the world, why can’t she just do xyz..” My friend said, “no, no one thinks that!”
The past few months I’ve been struggling. I will post more about this at a later time but I’ve been dealing with a lot mentally and emotionally. After this conversation with my friend, I thought up this scenario of a conversation with two other friends and what they would think if I told them about needing rest and time away from commitments. In my head, they would roll their eyes and completely not understand. In my head, I would turn to this friend in a “seeeee?!” type of way and hope that she would say something.
Two things.
First. THIS WHOLE SCENARIO ISN’T REAL! Why in the world would I give this so much weight on my emotions and affect my thoughts if it isn’t even real?! No one has said, done, or thought any of this! Stop assuming! (I’m using exclamation points because as I’m typing this I’m kind of yelling these things at myself… Not yelling at you, you’re awesome. lol)
Second. The Lord said that He will fight my battles. He will fight on my behalf. I don’t need to look to someone else to understand or say something. I also don’t need to give these other people a “piece of my mind” and I don’t need to defend myself. The Lord will. He will fight for me.
Will I trust Him to do that?
In Luke Jesus tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute you, oppose you, disagree with you. Not that a disagreement about how much time I have makes you an enemy… lol. This is just an example. But we are to love these people. Not an emotional love like showing affection but a love of genuine concern for their good and their eternal salvation. If we make up these thoughts and put our fears, our concerns, our insecurities onto other people and “assume” what people are thinking we can break down relationships.
Recently I read a blog post about using absolute words such as “always” and “never” in the context of a martial relationship. (Side note: The blog mentioned was written by Audrey Roloff. She and her husband Jeremy have a website aimed at building marriages and “Beating50Percent”. If you are married, engaged, seriously dating, married 100 years or 1 day, I highly recommend checking out their website/blog/ and book! They have a journal called Navigators Council that I highly recommend. When the Lord brings “the one” into my life, I will definitely be getting this!) This post really made me think about the way I use these words in my thoughts or every day life. I put these thoughts on people and then in my head they “always” think this and “never” think anything else.
This is a chunk of the blog regarding these absolute words:
All hope of effective communication is lost at that point. Both the accused and the accuser, are not seeking to resolve.
So why do we say these words, if we know that the proclamations that follow them are ineffective, harmful, damaging, and nonproductive?
When our husbands or wives neglect to respect a certain need or request, we tend to feel ignored or disregarded. But sometimes, that need or request was not make known in the first place. The expectation was unclear. As it is with any relationship, when you feel neglected or your expectations are not met, the natural reaction is to make a cutting remark, raise your voice, or resort to absolutes like never and always. What you are really saying with a never/always statement is that your spouse did or did not do something that you expected him or her to do. But your spouse cannot read your mind….as much as you wish they could, you can’t lash out them for not possessing this skill. You have to communicate your expectations.
Now, I know this is all in the context of a marriage relationship, but apply it to other areas of your life. Work relationships, friendships, family relationships. If communication is broken or you have (in your mind!) created these thoughts for someone else you are no longer seeking resolve, you are putting yourself down and making things worse.
During these past few months of being down and struggling I’ve noticed I’ve started to pull away from friends and those around me. I did exactly what I’m talking about today. I put thoughts in my head about what they would think and those became their “always” thoughts. I didn’t communicate anything but hoped they would “read my mind” and figure it out. This week I finally had enough and began to voice what was going on. I started to communicate. Let me tell you… this past week has been the best week I’ve had in a long time! Praise the Lord!
Friend, stop assuming. Communicate. Get in the Word and hold on.
The Lord will fight for you.
What battle are you facing? What storm is raging around you? What is going on in your mind? What thoughts are racing so fast that you feel like you can’t keep up?
Read Psalm 103.
Praise confuses the enemy! Begin to remind yourself what the Lord has done, who He is, who you are in Him. Speak truth over your life, not lies of the enemy and thoughts that aren’t real.
God has not left you.
I feel like this post is a partial post because there is so much more I’m working through, working on, dealing with. I want to encourage you to get in the Word, communicate with the people around you, communicate with me!
Jesus loves you, friend. He ALWAYS does.
